January 6,2020
Mar 31, 2020
Updated: Apr 1, 2020
On January 6. 2020 at 3:05 in the morning my phone started ringing, I looked at my phone and I knew what the call was about. I couldn’t bring myself to answer. I googled the number and saw “Capital Caring” which was the hospice center that my mother was in. I finally got the courage to call back at 3:09am, I said “Hello, This is Jazmin Page, Shyril Glenns daughter” the woman on the other side said “Hi I’m sorry, your mother has passed away this morning” I calmly said “Okay” and she asked “Are you going to come by?” I replied “Yes, let me brush my teeth and I’ll be there”. Thinking back I probably was in shock…….Like girl they just told you that your momma died and you wanna brush your teeth?!?!?!?!? I called my twin sister Kendra and said “Hey did you hear about mom?” she said”No” (That shocked me because Kendra had been the first point of contact through this whole journey, later on I learned that Kendra had switched the point of contact to my name) I told her “Mom passed away” she said “Ok I’ll call everyone and let them know, Jesse (Kendra’s boyfriend) and I will come pick you up”. I remember trying to get out of bed to go “brush my teeth” and when I stood up my legs gave out! My chest tightened and I was struggling to catch my breath. I laid on the floor and sobbed!!!!! I don’t know if I was crying because I felt relieved or because I had lost my mom, maybe both, either way it was REAL. I crawled (because my legs betrayed me when I needed them the most) to my prayer corner and I thanked God for my mothers life, I rejoiced knowing she had fought the good fight and finished the race. Once I gave God the glory I was assured that he had his hands on her and my family. I was finally able to get up and brush my teeth lol. Kendra and Jesse pulled up and I got into the car…….… It was so uncomfortable, our worlds had literally changed in less than a few hours, I remember thinking the last time I saw my sister (which was the day before) we had a mother. The thought of that was crushing. We went to get my uncle Duck who is my mothers brother, the pain in his eyes was unforgettable. I don’t remember the ride there which in some ways I’m grateful……Whatever went on in my head God took it away for a reason. I remember walking in the room, my dad had gotten there before us……… The weight he must’ve carried that day, to see the mother of his children laying their lifeless and watching his daughters walk in to see their mother…….I pray for my dad everyday because only God can take that pain and I pray he does just that and gives it to God. I don’t remember who saw my mom first but I remember Kendra crying saying “Mommy please come back”. I just know that my focus was no longer on my mother but trying to hold Kendra up because she could barely stand. I was terrified, I thought my sister was going to get sick, I thought I was going to lose her as well. Kendra and I have been on this journey together…….We literally came in this world together, the thought of possibly losing her at that moment……. All I know is her and Shyril would’ve had to take me too!!!!!!! “Hold on Jesus I’m coming too!!!! Ma, let me sit on your lap! Kendra hold my purse we finna ride out!”. Anyways, all jokes aside Kendra calmed down and for some reason Kendra and I got the giggles! We just laughed the whole time, probably another shock factor but all I kept thinking was “OMG that’s it we’ve officially gone coo-coo”. My sister Keesha came, I was praying she didn’t have the same reaction as Kendra. She cried and hugged my mom…….She’s the oldest of 4, there is a 17yr age difference between Keesha and I and I know she’s had experiences and memories with my mom that I may never know about but I know she was reflecting. A few times I stepped out of the room just to breathe…… Keesha never left my moms side. I saw a man with a stretcher and a body bag, I knew it was time. I was anxious to leave because I didn’t want to see my mom put in that bag. Rev. Keesha (from my church) had been with us all morning she advised us to leave before the take my mom and we all agreed. Rev. Keesha prayed with us and prayed over my mom, as we said our final goodbyes that’s when I lost it. I struggled to get these words out for the last time “Bye Mommy I love you”. I reached down and hugged her and my forehead pressed against hers and she felt like a cold stone that MESSED ME UP!!!!!!!…….That was the last time I laid eyes on my mother.
